Monday, May 14, 2018


I read online somewhere that “almost” is the saddest word because it means it could’ve been what you wanted but it never reached there. Think about it. “They almost made it” “He almost survived” the conclusion to these sentences is there was a chance of whatever they wanted or desired but it did not happen. Sometimes life throws daggers at you. You either dodge it with less than an inch away from your body or you get stabbed and learn how to deal with it.

I’ve been putting off writing for a while because I didn’t know where or how to start. I feel like I escape through writing but there was so much inside of me and I was unsure how to release it. This is a personal story of mine that is still a bit too close to the heart but I thought if I wrote about it, it’ll help me.
I once fell in love with someone and as much as I hate to admit it, I still am in love with them. I spent so much of life trying to be strong and be someone who never gave their everything to anyone in fear of getting hurt. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with anyone until him. Sure, I’ve been in like with many people but I don’t think it was ever love.

He came into my life fast and it was almost like a brick hit me with this person. I was overwhelmed, confused and frankly I just wasn’t sure what was happening. We moved into a relationship faster than I’ve ever been in. It was passionate, intimate, we loved each other so much but because of all those things, the relationship became a mess. I don’t know the real reason behind our mess but I think it was because we loved each other too much. We didn’t know how to handle our emotions and we spiraled many times from passion whether it was anger or love. We hurt each other deeply. Isn’t it interesting how we tend to do the most damage to the people who we love or love us the most. I think, as humans, we try to push away people who mean the most to us in fear of getting hurt.

How could one person make me feel so insane and crazy yet make me feel like I’m their world? It never made sense to me. He was the one who would damage me yet he was the only one who could make me feel better. I started losing myself and I knew I had to do something.

The story ends in a break up. I think that was inevitable. I’ve sat through countless nights thinking what if we just met later on, what if we were better than that and we just met at the wrong time. I know we didn’t end because there was no more love. As easier as that would’ve been for both of us, that just wasn’t the case. We ended because we fought too much and we were both stubborn. We both lost ourselves trying to be with each other. It still breaks my heart every time I think about it. It was like we were on a rollercoaster 24/7 with no stops and just a lot of loopdy-loops.

I think we tried to be someone who we just weren’t for each other. Not saying that we weren’t being our true selves, I just don’t think we found out who we really were before trying to fit into a mold of each other that we created.

Break ups are not easy. When we first broke up, I was so busy that I thought I was completely fine until a month and a half later it hit me harder than anything. I’m still trying to figure out a life without him. It’s hard because we were so serious and intertwined with each other’s lives that being alone felt alienating. I felt like a piece of me was missing and to be frank, it was missing because he had my heart.

I’ve been reading countless quotes trying to make myself feel better, doing things to keep me busy and just learning how to deal with my emotions. I’ve had a lot of support around me to those who I have talked to (which isn’t that many people because I don’t like feeling weak and a burden) have helped me deal with this.

As much as I wanted to scream and make him feel like he lost the best thing in the world (haha, maybe a part of that is still true in my eyes), I wish him all the best. I hope he finds happiness and I hope he wishes the same for me too. Do I wish things went differently? Yes. Do I know it could have? Yes. But maybe this was how it was all meant to be. Maybe we both needed to grow and maybe it wasn’t with each other but alone or with someone else.

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Friday, February 19, 2016

Go-To Makeup Look!

Hey guys - long time no blog!
This is my current go-to makeup look!
I've always been afraid to wear nude or pinky nudes on my lips because I always felt as though it made me look washed out and sick but I've been trying to find my perfect nude! I also went blonde from being a brunette. It is a lot of work trying to keep the blonde up but so far I love it.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Beautycon NYC Makeup + Outfit

My makeup and outfit for Beautycon NYC 2015. I don't have a better picture of my full outfit because I was kind of in a rush and was so busy throughout the day. If you want more outfit blog posts please let me know!

Top: Topshop
Sweater: Forever 21
Jeans: ASOS
Hat: Topshop
Shoes: Target
Bag: Givenchy

Foundation: Make Up Forever HD foundation
Powder: NARS Light Reflecting Pressed Powder
Contour: Benefit Hoola Bronzer
Blush: NARS Dual Blush in Adorn
Highlight: MAC Soft and Gentle
Eyeshadow: 3CE Palette in Saddle
Eyeliner: Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Liner
Lashes: Ardell Demi Wispies
Brows: Anastasia Brow Wiz
Lips: Covergirl Lipstick in #Tweetme

Monday, September 14, 2015

Fall Makeup Look - Purple Vampy Lips.

Hey all! Fall is finally here and that means the dark lip colours are finally out and ready to be worn. I am absolutely in love with the way dark lips look with winged eyeliner. I wore this look today and wanted to share it with you guys. Fall is definitely my favourite season of the year as it slowly transitions summer into cooler sweater weather and... It's the season of Halloween (my favourite holiday).

I actually tried out the Prestige Cream D'escargot B.B cream from It's Skin. I'm not a huge fan of B.B creams and as a mini review of this product - I hated it. It barely oxidized and even with applying powder to set it, I found it's lasting power horrible. I drank a cup of water and it took my B.B cream off and left me with a weird patch which I had to fix up. Throughout the day my nose and chin basically had no product on it. I think the finish of the product was pretty nice and the coverage made your skin quite flawless. The one thing I dislike about B.B creams is that they had one shade that is supposed to somehow oxidize into your skin colour. I feel like it never does that for me which is why I stick with foundations.

What I'm wearing on my face:
It's Skin - Prestige Cream D'escargot B.B cream
NARS Translucent Powder
Benefit Hoola Bronzer
Too Faced Love Flush - How Deep Is Your Love

Eyes & Brows:
Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz
Etude House Color My Brows
Urban Decay Naked Palette
Stila Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner
Marc Jacobs Beauty Highliner Gel Eye Crayon

Velour Lashes - Whispie Business
Too Faced Better than Sex Mascara

Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick - Venom

I tried to go simpler on the face to really pop my dark lips.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Quick Sephora Haul

I did a quick shopping spree on Sephora a couple of days ago because I was running out of some products! My Becca x Jaclyn Hill highlighter actually shattered so I had to repurchase it. I absolutely love this highlighter and I am so proud of Jaclyn! I also wanted to try out the Make Up Forever HD powder! I also got my Sephora birthday gift! I absolutely love the two colors from NARS!

Benefit Hoola Bronzer
Becca x Jaclyn Hill Champagne Pop
Urban Decay Brow Tamer
Boscia Clear Complexion Blotting
Korres Lip Butter
MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Pressed Powder
Beauty Blender
Stila Liquid Eyeliner
Marc Jacobs Gel Eye Crayon

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Everyday Makeup Routine

Hello! This is my first video ever and this is just my everyday makeup routine :).
Check out my channel and please subscribe! It will mean a lot to me!

Products I used:
Too Faced Hangover Rx
Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation in 3.5
NARS Sheer Glow in Ceylan
Sephora Microsmooth Powder in Clair Light 15
Anastasia Brow Wiz in Soft Brown
Too Faced Semi Sweet Chocolate Bar palette
Stila Liquid Eyeliner
Maybeline Pumped Up Colossal Mascara
Benefit Hoola Bronzer
Clinque Cheek Pop in 02 Peach Pop
MAC Lipstick in Speed Dial

Monday, April 13, 2015

Current Beauty Favourites

It's halfway through April so posting a March favourite's seems too late and so I thought I would share with you guys my current beauty favourites! I have been trying to branch out to different products rather than sticking to my everyday items. I have found some AMAZING products throughout the months!

Lush Tea Tree Water
This is an amazing toner for your skin. It is said to be meant for oily acne prone skin but I have dry skin and it works fine for me. I like the fact that it has tea tree in it, which is amazing for pimples and such. I feel like whilst using this I have found that I get less breakouts! This is actually my second bottle of this and I love it!

Make Up Forever HD Foundation in N120
I used to use this foundation maybe two or three years ago. To be honest, this was my first ever liquid foundation I had ever used! I somehow forgot about this and moved on to other foundations. Recently I bought this again and it made me really wonder why I ever stopped using it! It is the perfect amount of coverage and it is buildable. I find that the perfect way to apply this foundation is with a Beauty Blender. I just run my beauty blender under some water it wet it and apply this all over my face. The combination helps reduce those dry patches and has a lovely finish after setting it with a powder.

Too Faced Soul Mates Blushing Bronzer - Carrie & Big
I told myself that I didn't need this but... I caved in and bought it BUT I am so glad I did! I still have yet to use the bronzer part of the product but this blush is stunning! I absolutely am blown away by this gorgeous peachy blush! It is quite hard to get just the blush out of this but the way it looks on your cheeks is too beautiful. And I have to say Carrie and Big are one of my favourite couples from TV.

MAC Mineralize Skinfinish - Soft & Gentle
I have heard from EVERYONE about how amazing this highlighter is and blah blah blah. And to be honest, I didn't understand why everyone was raving about this product but I must say it does give you a perfect glow. I am completely suckered into this product and my makeup feels incomplete without this now. For those of you who were thinking of getting this - GET IT! I love it! You do have to be careful and make sure you use a fan brush and apply with a light hand because it can look too much on your face.

BITE Agave Lip Mask
This is a lip balm that makes your lips super moisturized. I suffer from dry and flaky lips and lets be honest, it's really not cute. I was not happy when I first tried this because it is an extremely thick consistency but once you smooth it out on your lips, it doesn't feel sticky. Saved my lips!

Too Faced Melted Lipstick in Melted Strawberry
This colour is bright and super red. Scary? I know. I was afraid of using this colour because I am not really a bold lips kind of girl but I fell in love. This entire line is amazing! I wore this out one night to go out clubbing with my friends and this stayed on ALL NIGHT. I have a tendency to bite my lip and lick my lips throughout the night which is why lip colours never stay on my lips. I was shocked at how my lips looked by the end of the night!

YSL Rouge Volupte Shine in 14
Ugh, but look at that packaging! So gorgeous! This is my first ever YSL lipstick and I love it! It does make my lips slightly dry but then again most products do. I love this coral colour on my lips. The perfect colour for spring! The product is quite sheer but the colour definitely comes off on your lips. It has a glossy finish with a tinge of shimmer. It's stunning!

These are just the swatches of the two lipsticks.
Top: Too Faced
Bottom: YSL

Monday, March 30, 2015

Spring Outfit Ideas?

I have never done a fashion post before on my blog and I've been really wanting to so here it is! These are just two outfit ideas for upcoming spring weather! Sadly here on the east coast it is still really really cold... Spring, where are you?

Left picture:
Hat, Top & Dress -  Urban Outfitters
Necklace - I don't remember sorry!
Shoes - Jeffrey Campbells Lita Heels

Right picture:
Hat, Top & Flannel - Urban Outfitters
Necklace - Korea
Shorts - Nasty Gal
Shoes - Jeffrey Campbells 

I didn't realize both of my outfits are mostly Urban Outfitters! Oops :/. 
If you want more outfit posts please let me know!